Treadmill Fail

My worst nightmare came true this morning. I fell off the treadmill going at a high speed. AT THE HEALTH CLUB. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. It all could have easily been avoided if I didn’t have my head firmly planted up my ass.

I was cool, trucking along, doing intervals, and I accidentally knocked my phone off. My phone is my music source, so it was sitting in the little cubby on the treadmill. My hand hit the headphones cord and it went flying. I cursed—the older man next to me gave me a dirty look—and I stopped the treadmill, jumped off, grabbed my phone and got back at it. Then a couple of minutes later I did the same damn thing. Phone went flying, I jumped off to retrieve it and stepped back on … oh, but wait. I forgot to stop the tread, so I stepped back on a moving tread going 8 mph!

I flew backwards, my head hit the tread, before bouncing off. I was stunned, which was quickly replaced with total embarrassment. Holy shit. I just wanted to lie there on the floor and die of shame. But no. Very nice people immediately came to my aid and helped me up, so I could see just how many people were watching and probably secretly wishing they had that on video to replay.

My head was bleeding, my wrist, arm, and knee hurt. I slinked off to the side, and was given an ice pack for the golf ball that was emerging above my left eye. The staff members were really sweet and fussing over me, but all I could think about was the slow-motion video of me flying off the treadmill. They all remarked how loud it was, as well, which, honestly, didn’t make me feel any better.

Next time I run, it will be on pavement, and my phone will be tightly secured in an arm band. For now, I have a purplish boo-boo (that’s the technical term) with slight swelling and a small gash near my eyebrow. It could have been worse, right? No, really, someone please tell me that.